‘I was forced to adopt my own biological twins after cancer agony – it stole years from us’
A mother has spoken of her horrid two-year ordeal in which she was forced to adopt her own biological children in order to be named as their legal parent. Tammy Myers and her husband Jordan had wanted to expand their young family but were harrowingly told that following her breast cancer diagnosis, Tammy wouldn’t be able to carry any more children herself.
The determined couple from Michigan, US, opted to pursue the surrogacy route, finding their supportive surrogate, Lauren Vermilye, on Facebook. Married mother of two, Lauren had lost her father to cancer some years before and empathised with the family’s plight.
Two of Tammy and Jordan’s embryos were transferred to Lauren in 2020, and the couple learned they were expecting twins. This path was anything but simple, however, and Tammy and Jordan faced obstacles before their babies were even born.
Under Michigan’s Surrogate Parenting Act of 1988, which asserted that surrogacy contracts were “void and unenforceable”, effectively outlawing surrogacy in the state. Two Kent County judges rejected the Myers’ attempts to be named as the legal parents.
Jordan told CBS News: “I just sobbed. It’s all I could do. I don’t understand it. It doesn’t make any sense.” On January 11, 2021, Tammy and Jordan welcomed twins, Eames and Ellison, now 4, but, heartbreakingly, Lauren and her husband were not named as parents on the birth certificates.
Both Eames and Ellison, who were born a few weeks prematurely, required medical attention following their births and spent time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). All the while, Tammy and Jordan were left with no legal rights or grounds to make any medical decisions for their children and weren’t able to put them on their health insurance.
Mum-of-three Tammy, whose daughter Corryn was eight years old when her younger siblings were born, told WWMT: “They were still trying to get both of my babies breathing, and I was just enraged at what was happening to us when we should really just be feeling pure joy. The amount of stress and fear and fear of the unknown, fear of the financial burden, was just weighing so heavily on our shoulders.”
The Myers were permitted to bring their twins home but were forced to endure months of home inspections and paperwork, as well as an FBI background check in their bid to become their legal parents. The gruelling process took nearly two years, bringing enormous stress into their lives at a time when there should have been great joy.
Their ordeal pushed the couple to campaign for changes to Michigan laws to ensure no other parents would ever have to endure a similar struggle. Now, their efforts have paid off. As of Tuesday, April 1, The Michigan Family Protection Act went into effect, ensuring the legalisation and regulation of surrogacy in the state. Under this new act, the process of obtaining formal parental recognition will be streamlined in a way that affords better protection for parents, surrogates and children.
In an exclusive new interview with PEOPLE, Tammy, now 43, shared: “It means the world to know that no family will have to go through what we did. This change brings so much peace, dignity, and protection to families like mine.”
Meanwhile, the Myers’ lawyer and friend, Melissa Neckers, said: “Essentially, if this law had been in place when Tammy and Jordan’s twins were born, they would have been able to obtain an order prior to the babies’ birth. In other words, they could have enjoyed the amazing blessing of their babies without the stress and legal uncertainty they were subjected to.”
Going forward, Tamyy intends to continue her advocacy work by helping to raise money and awareness for fertility treatments for those diagnosed with cancer and pushing for legislative change. She’s expressed a wish that her twins will one day be “proud” of playing a part in changing history, adding: “I think that’s my greatest hope.”
Do you have a story to share? Email me at julia.banim@reachplc.com
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